the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
