used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
