Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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