Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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