Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
