you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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