is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize