There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
