you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
