biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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