Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize