I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
