Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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