I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize