is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
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Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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