What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
