Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
