listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
