i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
