At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Are we still banned from the library?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize