Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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