No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
