vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
