He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
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Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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