Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
