I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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