the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
