my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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