So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
