His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
