I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
