make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
