Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
