I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just had sex on a roof
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
