Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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