One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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