i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
