Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
