please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize