it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
