I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
