OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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