Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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