i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
