the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
