I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
