If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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