Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
