fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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