sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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