She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
