I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
