I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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