My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
