Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
