I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
