im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This baby is an asshole
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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