im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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