Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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